Three Things I Know About Trust

1.     Most of the time being trusted is on us.  We set ourselves up for not being trusted when we put ourselves in a QUESTIONABLE situation. 

 For example:  If I’m married or in a committed relationship and while at my job, with no intent of wrongdoing on the part of myself or my co-worker who happens to be of the opposite sex, we decide to go out to eat lunch together.  I’m innocent, but I have placed myself in a questionable situation. My significant other just might happen to ask what I did for lunch today or maybe someone tells them they saw me with another woman/man.  Now I could find myself in a position of being questioned and possibly not trusted.  This could have been avoided with a strong boundary. An example might be to always include a third person when heading to lunch with someone that may cause questions to arise.

 2.     Blind Trust is Risky

 Forgiving those who have betrayed us absolutely does not mean forgetting.  There is no magic eraser for our brain.  There’s a good reason…. we need our experiences to teach us.  We need to be aware of red flags that indicate questionable behaviors. 

 This does not mean, once wronged, we keep questioning the person who wronged us.  We leave it in the past unless there is questionable behavior.  If so, validate your suspicions or proceed with caution.

 3.     Not trusting someone based on your past experiences with others will create conflict and possibly destroy the relationship.  No one likes being falsely accused, having to prove their innocence, or walking on eggshells about being questioned.    Remember, to ask yourself…is the suspicion there because the person has created a questionable situation or is the suspicion a “what-if” in your mind, which may be out of your own anxiety?